I waited until he came, he was there and then down to me, but I could not simply that at the moment, it was too much for me. I've turned off the PC, my two bags in which I had packed my clothes caught and told him that I would get the laptop tomorrow. He was totally exhausted, did not understand what was going on and asked if I wanted to do in the end closure. I told him, I do not want to make statements, but he has already left me long ago. Then I went down to my room. He had written to me after he got the note from him on the stand I love you 'found on the back of' whosoever believes I. He asked me if I really do not believe him and I said yes. He asked what we do now and I said I do not know and he just left.
In that moment I just wanted to be dead.
Did I put in my ice-cold, empty bed and cried so loud that you have heard it to go out in the kitchen, I'm sure. I've cried so long until I have the nails so deep into my Arms had grabbed that I could not stop crying with. I got up and walked up to him. At the moment it has not counted that he's such a ass was up all night or something.
I knock against his door and it is open, the door opens a crack, he asks who is there, I do not see in the dark. 'I' I whisper, he is pulls me in, take me in the arm, says nothing, just sobbing. I can not believe that he is crying again, because I'm so stupid. He can not even be correct, we both cry and I move both of us slowly towards the bed, I'll lie down and sit with him, we talk but he is crying in between so loud that it almost cries out to me is a shit if anyone hears us, I just want him stop, I'm hurt so much. I tell him that I believe him. Except that I did not for more than 5 hours left crying alone in a room would have. Everything is funny, he does not stop at some point he sleeps but I lie awake. I get up, search the note, the note is gone, I'll take the Edding on the desk and start everywhere to write in my arms, must avoid the burning scratch, he has to date seen only one of them even though they are big and red . Then my wobbly legs, my disgusting, again Lichen, fat bellies [this is an understatement.] My shoulders, my face. At some point I stop, put me to bed and fall into something like like a coma.
The next morning he wakes up before me, I wake up from his movement. He takes my arm, I think he sees the scratches shit, what have I just done. But he only reads what is on my arms. I manage to open his eyes, somehow we cuddle but he still looks so exhausted and sad, I always wonder what it would be but he says nothing. I say it a thousand times that I will do everything for him he wants me just say something, but he says, as always, he does not know it. I caress his belly in circles and when I'm down, he says, should I continue. I know what he wants.
is it better then he is back to normal, he told me what happened last night, however, I have not noticed.
But something is broken. His touch makes me not fond of it, I really want him, but his body does not with mine too does not. What is wrong with us?
Thank you I still remain true. I ♥ U!
Bella.
